I saw you wrote that in college you went from Gainesville to New Orleans, is that Gainesville, FL. Were/ are you a Gator? I am more than twice your age, but also went with the Gator Guard to Mardi Gras 2 times. One time I also got a little too much to drink and had to be saved by my friends. I also have not been in contact with any or those people in a very long time.
Hi Roberta, yes! How neat. I'm a Gator, and the New Orleans trip was a road trip for the LSU game. Some of those people I haven't talked to since then, though others I keep up with. Good memories. - S.G.
The distance between friendship and love can very greatly at different times in our lives. Love as a young adult is starry eyed,
and dance until morning, and all about discovery. As we get older, and settle into a more mature love, something is lost and something is gained. Possibly as a psychologically protective mechanism, we either consciously or unconsciously choose never to make ourselves as vulnerable as we once were. Nothing fractures the soul like unrequited young love. And so by necessity, we look forward rather than backward and we choose the comfort of stability over the joy of a love that makes us completely out of control. This is the power of young love and young friendships, and why we often lose them to time, distance, and unattentive convenience.
Hi *Wiley* - yes, you put it well. It's that vulnerability that's lost as we age, which does protect us, but also closes the door to connection. I'm not sure if there's a way around it, either; you'd need both parties to agree to drop their guards, if they even can. It seems like certain events might force the matter, like tragedy, but it'd be better if hardship wasn't required to create bonds. - S.G.
Never a life has lived under the sun devoid of turmoil and tragedy. It's part of the human condition. And although perceived vs actual tragedy varies greatly from person to person, country to country, and culture to culture, it is nonetheless real to the person involved. "I told you, I wanted the Malibu Barbie, not the Christmas Barbie!!!"
You are so very right! I have, over the many years of my life, made friends here and there among my many Military associates. But my One-and-Only Best Friend comes from my High School days. He was like a brother to me back then, and still is today. And though we don't often talk, and haven't over the many years, we still are connected in a very special way. Our longest pause was from about 1968 until 1992 when we bumped into each other in, of all places, a men's room standing next to each other. What a surprise that was but it was also like only a day or two had passed in how we greeted each other. I haven't seen him again in the past 21 years, and we only occasionally correspond via email, but life does not stand still except in our relationship minds.
Hi Michael, what a fun story. Isn't it great how time can pass but those old friendships stay the same? I have one best friend from high school as well who is like a sister, and we'll go months and months without talking, but I know that I can always call on her and I'll be like no time has passed. Those friendships are the best. - S.G.
End it doesn’t change when you reach 65. Those memories in those friends seem to stay in the background of our mind for years. I am happy to say that I met an old college friend on a vacation with my husband recently. After our reunion she and her husband moved 1500 miles and now live down the street from us. You just can’t beat that kind of a connection
Hi Lisa, how wonderful that you reconnected with an old college friend like that, and better, that she now lives right up the road. It doesn't happen often but when it does, it's the best feeling. - S.G.
What a touching story about running into an old friend. I moved across the country when I was in my 30s from my hometown. Until then I'd had the same friends since high school. I was at the grocery one day when I bumped into an old classmate who I didn't know well in school, but she'd happened to move to the same city as me. We got to talking and now we're very close friends. It was easier to connect with her even though we weren't close back then. Hopefully you'll have the same luck with your old friend too :)
Hi Amy, isn't it nice bumping into old friends? You're right, there's something about even just having known someone from your school days that makes connection easier. Wishing you and your friend the best, and thanks for sharing. - S.G.
Hi S.G., I've had similar struggles. I too have made adult friends but struggle to get past that "hump," as you've described. I think we get so busy with our lives that friendships take a back seat. Luckily I do still have my best friend who I've known since we were very little, and even though we don't live in the same city we talk all the time. I'm thankful to have her. Sending warmth your way. - CL
That's true that as adults we get busy with our lives and careers. I'm happy to hear that you keep in touch with your best friend even if you live apart. Cherish that. - S.G.
I believe it is a matter of how you are wired to begin with. I don't have a lot of every day- every month BFF's. Some of us don't need regular external reassurance, affirmation or energy. I don't have a circle of girlfriends or a best friend that I see regularly. I know people who live in the same town in which they grew up, have never lived anywhere else and still hang out with their high school friends for dinners, drinks regularly. It strikes me almost as if they never grew up and moved on and I feel sorry for them; it is as if they never broke away from their childhood. Logically, I know there are benefits to having a stable social support network, living in the same town with the same friends your whole life but I can't choose my feelings. I treasure a handful of friends in my life that I have from many different times and places; some from high school and college; some from diffent jobs as an adult. We don't speak regularly or see each other almost ever, but I know that we would be throwing down whatever is in our hands and run into each other's arms with affectionate greeting were we to see each other again. And that's enough for me.
I saw you wrote that in college you went from Gainesville to New Orleans, is that Gainesville, FL. Were/ are you a Gator? I am more than twice your age, but also went with the Gator Guard to Mardi Gras 2 times. One time I also got a little too much to drink and had to be saved by my friends. I also have not been in contact with any or those people in a very long time.
Roberta
Hi Roberta, yes! How neat. I'm a Gator, and the New Orleans trip was a road trip for the LSU game. Some of those people I haven't talked to since then, though others I keep up with. Good memories. - S.G.
The distance between friendship and love can very greatly at different times in our lives. Love as a young adult is starry eyed,
and dance until morning, and all about discovery. As we get older, and settle into a more mature love, something is lost and something is gained. Possibly as a psychologically protective mechanism, we either consciously or unconsciously choose never to make ourselves as vulnerable as we once were. Nothing fractures the soul like unrequited young love. And so by necessity, we look forward rather than backward and we choose the comfort of stability over the joy of a love that makes us completely out of control. This is the power of young love and young friendships, and why we often lose them to time, distance, and unattentive convenience.
Hi *Wiley* - yes, you put it well. It's that vulnerability that's lost as we age, which does protect us, but also closes the door to connection. I'm not sure if there's a way around it, either; you'd need both parties to agree to drop their guards, if they even can. It seems like certain events might force the matter, like tragedy, but it'd be better if hardship wasn't required to create bonds. - S.G.
Never a life has lived under the sun devoid of turmoil and tragedy. It's part of the human condition. And although perceived vs actual tragedy varies greatly from person to person, country to country, and culture to culture, it is nonetheless real to the person involved. "I told you, I wanted the Malibu Barbie, not the Christmas Barbie!!!"
You are so very right! I have, over the many years of my life, made friends here and there among my many Military associates. But my One-and-Only Best Friend comes from my High School days. He was like a brother to me back then, and still is today. And though we don't often talk, and haven't over the many years, we still are connected in a very special way. Our longest pause was from about 1968 until 1992 when we bumped into each other in, of all places, a men's room standing next to each other. What a surprise that was but it was also like only a day or two had passed in how we greeted each other. I haven't seen him again in the past 21 years, and we only occasionally correspond via email, but life does not stand still except in our relationship minds.
Hi Michael, what a fun story. Isn't it great how time can pass but those old friendships stay the same? I have one best friend from high school as well who is like a sister, and we'll go months and months without talking, but I know that I can always call on her and I'll be like no time has passed. Those friendships are the best. - S.G.
End it doesn’t change when you reach 65. Those memories in those friends seem to stay in the background of our mind for years. I am happy to say that I met an old college friend on a vacation with my husband recently. After our reunion she and her husband moved 1500 miles and now live down the street from us. You just can’t beat that kind of a connection
Hi Lisa, how wonderful that you reconnected with an old college friend like that, and better, that she now lives right up the road. It doesn't happen often but when it does, it's the best feeling. - S.G.
What a touching story about running into an old friend. I moved across the country when I was in my 30s from my hometown. Until then I'd had the same friends since high school. I was at the grocery one day when I bumped into an old classmate who I didn't know well in school, but she'd happened to move to the same city as me. We got to talking and now we're very close friends. It was easier to connect with her even though we weren't close back then. Hopefully you'll have the same luck with your old friend too :)
Hi Amy, isn't it nice bumping into old friends? You're right, there's something about even just having known someone from your school days that makes connection easier. Wishing you and your friend the best, and thanks for sharing. - S.G.
Hi S.G., I've had similar struggles. I too have made adult friends but struggle to get past that "hump," as you've described. I think we get so busy with our lives that friendships take a back seat. Luckily I do still have my best friend who I've known since we were very little, and even though we don't live in the same city we talk all the time. I'm thankful to have her. Sending warmth your way. - CL
That's true that as adults we get busy with our lives and careers. I'm happy to hear that you keep in touch with your best friend even if you live apart. Cherish that. - S.G.
I believe it is a matter of how you are wired to begin with. I don't have a lot of every day- every month BFF's. Some of us don't need regular external reassurance, affirmation or energy. I don't have a circle of girlfriends or a best friend that I see regularly. I know people who live in the same town in which they grew up, have never lived anywhere else and still hang out with their high school friends for dinners, drinks regularly. It strikes me almost as if they never grew up and moved on and I feel sorry for them; it is as if they never broke away from their childhood. Logically, I know there are benefits to having a stable social support network, living in the same town with the same friends your whole life but I can't choose my feelings. I treasure a handful of friends in my life that I have from many different times and places; some from high school and college; some from diffent jobs as an adult. We don't speak regularly or see each other almost ever, but I know that we would be throwing down whatever is in our hands and run into each other's arms with affectionate greeting were we to see each other again. And that's enough for me.